She will be as glass..

anorexicvenus @ 2007-12-15T20:46:00

2007-12-16T01:48:28Z

Okay, so me and Chriss got a place. It's a little stressed right now but I'm working on it, lol. We are pretty happy, and Jess and Pris, they're hanging out alot here. But things are good. Yep. I like life right now, bet you never thought I'd say that.

Muahaha.

her

2007-10-30T19:56:12Z

Well, it's been a good week. I'm with a new girl. Chriss. And yeah, we're looking for apartments right now. So, I suppose you could say things are going great. For those of you who know the meaning behind this, I gave Chris my key, and though I feel naked without it, I don't regret it. I hope I never will. I'm just glad I have finally found someone that makes me forget about all the people that have hurt me. She made a comment the other day about how all the girls she is with tell her that she makes them feel safe. I tried to tell her in my way (which as most of you know is distracting and stilted) that she makes me feel anything but safe. Mostly, she makes me feel exposed, because for once, I'm not hiding any part of me, and to be honest, that scares the sheeite out of me. But I'm happy. I haven't smiled this much in forever. I'm just hoping that this time it will last. I've told her everything she wanted to know about my past, and she says none of it matters, but I'm still a little scared that something I can't remember, or that she hasn't asked about is going to show up and bite us both. I'm trying to remember everything, but, well.. I've slept since then.

anywho.. I've been staying with her alot, and stuff has gone well. So far the only thing we disagree about is who picks where we eat.. lol. I refuse, and so does she. But we're happy. We've only known each other for about three weeks, and alot of people think we're moving too fast. But it's only too fast if you aren't both happy. So, here's hoping we stay happy.

Blah Blah

2007-09-28T23:22:52Z

Nothing really interesting is going on. Still single. Which blows. This guy is really into me, and won't accept the fact that I am, in fact, Gay. But you know, I will just keep blowing him off, just like I've always done. Last night I went out to Kemosabi's and hung out. That's the local biker bar, for those who don't realize that. Now you do. Woo hoo. Me and Dezzy aren't talking anymore. She can't get over her last girlfriend. So you know, I gave that one up. I'm not going to be second best. Never have been, never will be. But moving on. I've been listening to music, and watching Carlos Mencia videos, because I am just that pathetic. Well, life is dull. Kim came over earlier, and we hung out with Jamie, my neighbor. Showed him my new toys. Kim showed him her nipples. I'm rather proud of those, I did a good job peircing them. Hmm, what else. well, I painted my nails green. And I took a shower. That's about it.

Full

2007-08-04T22:53:06Z

You smile down at me, my smile hidden by your secret.. You watch so carefully, My hand hidden by you. Eroticism breathes in the arch of your back. You make up for all that I lack.

I'll fill you up and take you just ask, I'll be your future, make you forget your past. I'll fill you up, fill your heardt, and make you gasp.

Just you and me, babygirl, no future, no past. That secret smile leaves your face as I push you past the arms of grace. Your eyes close, in moans and lace. The arch of your back, your lips go slack.

I whisper those words into you, I have claimed you, win or lose. Me or him, you choose. He'll fill you for a little while, but I'll keep going till your full.

Will you burn for me.

2007-07-31T01:42:48Z

last night, she spent the night with me. Yeah, her, the one I really really want.I just don't know if it's going to work out, and I don't want to be hurt again. I hate hurting. But she is so sweet and beautiful and I just want her. And I saw the cuts on her where beth broke up with her, and I think I hate Beth for them. She shouldn't be hurt when all she does is give and give. I don't think I have ever seen someone like her, she could do so much better than me.So very much, and now, I just can't get her out of my head. But I'm so tired of being alone. And I think this really could last. I mean, I really do. I sent her a message, and let her know how I feel, and now I play the waiting game.I hate that game.

God, I'm so sick of being lonely. SOMEONE MAKE ME SMILE!!!

But anyway, I want to like, go swimming and have fun, but everyone has abandoned me, and run off with other people, to get drunk, but I don't want to do that. Dezzy has kind of shown me I don't need that to be happy...

Arg, I'm so pathetic.

King.

2007-07-06T08:03:58Z

time A tab for your crimes. I'll listen to your confession for your rimes. I'll listen to your confessions for the right price. But I don't really care. I'll use you.and then be ashamed of it. Don't want my golden sheen tarnished. But even king midas died.

The meaning of being lonely.

2007-06-23T07:55:52Z

I am rather lonely. I mean, there are people here, but there are alot of things I cannot speak to them about. I miss the person I was a few years ago. But I mean, what am I supposed to do about the things I've done. I don't regret any of them.. I just don't want to be this person. So jaded and sad. I miss being happy, but I don't really know when I am going to develop that feeling again. But maybe one day I'll forget the one who hurt me and just.. forget it all. Or I'll die. Hell, whichever comes first, at this point I really don't care. Blah...

Anyway. I went to the club tonight.. saw Dana's sexy ass. God what I wouldn't give.. but anyway. I do have a girlfriend, but I'm not really all that into her.. she just kind of.. is there. Shit I feel bad for saying that....

Blah de blah.

To Kristina

2007-06-04T10:02:04Z

Aborted Fetus on a chiseled bed- once alive and too soon dead. A name is given but never spoken. Told to no one. Deny? Twas you sin so softly created this child alone-to forget this child your seed was sewn. Let her bleed your salted tears, almost a mother- fingers glisten in fear. Only for you- it's your ocean between her legs tonight. To your alter is given sacrifice.Raped mother's, no sanctuary. In lust and her voice is wary. She feels the pain and takes the hurt- Now out slips the embryo. Curiosity shines in her eyes- she wonders what it's like to die. Now the ocean is bled and dry. Angles covered up with lies. It sits within the mason ar- from her fingers never far. And now I want to slit her throat- when she speaks of embryo. I let her bleed my salted tears- I assuaged all her fears. A comforting hand to staunch the blood. To pull her up out of the mud. My ocean rose between her legs but our baby is already dead.
How was I to ever know how much I would love our embryo.

Model. -07

2007-06-02T14:25:32Z

There's a roadblock in her eyes, and I can't get through. Any words are wasted on the ice queen she has become. She will be as glass , see through and starving. Anorexic Venus. So beautiful, ut so hard. She's Bettie Page on crack, and she loves her addictions. Close personal friends, anything that can activate her gag reflex. Eating disorders are her forte'. Perfection her goal. She is Worthless.